A parent's hope

Sometimes the only time I feel at peace is when I see my son sleeping comfortably and soundly. I don't understand why it seems to be such a challenge to get him to finally go to sleep. I have learned over time and through personal experience that there seems to be a connection between autism and sleep disorder. I am not sure exactly why it seems autistic children are affected by every little thing but this certainly plays a part in the child acting out when it is bedtime. I thought it would get easier over time but it seems that as an autistic child grows they still experience these difficulties and they tend to act out more. I have tried to understand my son's situation but it is not that easy. I sometimes try to fool myself into believing that if I take a firm approach and try to reason with my son why it is time to go to bed that he will get it and comply with my directives. As I have learned it is not that simple. Although we as parents have to take control and exercise discipline and proper judgement in administering it we also need to understand that autistic children are very different from most children and we have to find a way to cope with these differences.

I have learned to become more tolerable but it has evolved over time and with a great deal of patience and understanding in trying to find a way to handle the outbursts and meltdowns. Sometimes it is not always easy to be composed all of the time and I do find myself yelling on occasion out of sheer frustration. It is in trying to help my son that I need to be extremely patient and supportive. The times I do get upset is when I hear my son say things that he should not. I realize I have to know not to let it get to me but sometimes it does because I want to help my son the best I can and when I hear him say things that are inappropriate and self destructive it does affect me. I believe all children do challenge their parents authority at times and it seems that is part of the growing up process but it should not be the norm.    

It is my hope that my son realizes that we are trying to do the right things for him and that we love him very much. I can not tell you how frustrating it can be when you feel like no matter what you do it does not seem to get through to your child. My son is very bright and he understands well but that does not mean he will always comply. It seems autistic children do have difficulties that most children do not have and it is very hard sometimes for them to have smooth transitions. It seems autistic children have to learn to cope with change even though they want no part of it. If I could ease my son's mind and allay his fears I would but I am not in his mind and I don't know what he feels. Another problem autistic children have to deal with is the difficulty in expressing themselves and in communicating what they feel.

For every parent raising a child they want to establish ways in forming open lines of communication where the child feels comfortable in opening up and talking. I wish this for my son as well. I need to know that he can talk out what is on his mind and to tell us when he is upset. It is very important to establish trust with your child and allow them to freely express their feelings. Autistic children certainly need to find ways of expressing themselves too and finding ways to channel their energies and bring out their strengths. Autistic children are full of promise and are diamonds in the rough.

As we age it is our hope that our children will be able to make it on their own. It is our responsibility as parents to afford our children the very best education we can to allow them to find opportunity and develop as individuals. We will find inner peace when we realize our children will be able to carry on and live the lives we had anticipated and hoped. We also have to help get them started financially and it is very important to make sure we have adequate life insurance in place for their protection and for our peace of mind. I realize this more than ever as I have learned of the unexpected and untimely death of a good friend who leaves behind a wife and 3 year old daughter. My heart weighs heavy for my friend and his family.

As the summer draws to an end it is our hope that our son will have a smooth transition back to school and will be able to continue on the path to making progress and learning. We rely on the school and the teachers too in helping to shape our son and providing him an education that will help him in his formative years. As parents it is always our hope to bring out the very best in our children and when I say this I speak from the heart because I would lay down my life if I knew it would benefit my son. I want my son to have every opportunity he is entitled to and I want him to be happy and comfortable with himself. We all want to see our children succeed and find true happiness in their life.

I am very fortunate to be blessed with a beautiful wife and son and my hope is that we can be together for as long as we can and that we can share in all our son's joys and accomplishments. We don't see him as being different, we just see him as being a wonderful child full of life, promise and hope.

Edward D. Iannielli III

Autism and coming to terms

I have been living with a heavy heart for as long as I can remember but I try not to give it away. I know how important it is to wear a smile even when you don't feel up to it. In raising a child on the autistic spectrum it is very important to stay strong in your mindset and to always be supportive. You will ride the tides of emotion and will have days where you feel all alone with no one to turn to. I have always tried to look at the positive side in dealing with my son's situation but sometimes you only see the trying and difficult moments and sometimes wonder what good can come from this diagnosis. It seems it robs a child of their spontaneity and their ability to socialize and make friends. To most of us the ability to socialize means just about everything in life so for an autistic child it means they will have to find ways to compensate for their lack of social grace.

My earliest recollection of learning of my son's situation was something I can never forget because I remember clearly hearing the words autistic, epilepsy and asperger's syndrome all together in one sentence coming from the mouth of his doctor who we trusted and came to respect immensely. It was a shock and something we were not prepared for. We knew then that we needed to seek services for our son to address his special needs and we were concerned that he would be labeled and be limited in his opportunities. We do not feel he deserves to be looked upon as different or prejudged because of his diagnosis. It has and will always be a learning experience for us and something that will be a life long situation for our son. We are trying our best to help prepare him for his future and give him every possible opportunity to learn, mature and develop to his absolute potential.

As you look into those precious eyes of your child you will learn that encouragement, love, devotion, dedication, hope and nurturing are essential in raising them. To me autism means each and every day your child will require your complete attention and you will do all you can to provide it. Even when you are apart from your child, they are on your mind constantly and it is sometimes hard to cope with the anxiety but you have to learn to come to terms with separation and the medical condition and have hope, faith and truly believe that things will improve over time.

I have seen my son all alone for hours at a time doing the same thing over and over and over again and I wonder what it is that draws him in to this quiet world where he seems to be content but very isolated. It pains me to see him alone so much and I wish I could bring him out of this isolation and teach him how to open up and make friends. One thing I have come to realize in seeing my son's situation is that I too felt isolated as a child where I too preferred to be alone but my isolation was more the result of my shyness not because of autism. I am very empathetic to his situation and realize that if I could move mountains than so can he. I will always support our son in all aspects of his life and will encourage him to bring out his best because he deserves that. He is very capable and is highly intelligent. He just needs to be able to speak for himself and to find a level of comfort in his surroundings at school and in his social circles that hopefully will expand for him as he grows.

We have sought many opportunities for our son through his early years that would provide him fun and enjoyable times with other children. Camp is one such opportunity that we feel is very important and we have enrolled him since he was 5 years old in a very respected and highly recommended program and we were lucky enough to provide him this experience for 5 years but it became increasingly too expensive for us and we had to seek an alternative because unfortunately it was no longer within our budget. We were hoping that one day the long wait for Camp Anchor would end and he would be invited to attend for the summer. We were not sure if this would ever become a reality but luckily we had the help of Senator Hannon and Hempstead supervisor Kate Murray behind us and we received the wonderful news by letter from both indicating he was accepted and would be enrolled for this summer. My wife and I were so happy for Matty and very thankful to our politician friends for all they did to help make this possible. After all we are just trying to make our son happy and enable him to smile and have a fun time and have an opportunity to meet other children and learn to interact and make lasting friendships.

As our son now faces his early teenage years we will try to help him through and be there for him always. Although we feel frustration at times we must realize it is not about us. It is about coming to terms with our son's condition and not being afraid. We have to be positive and hopeful always so we can encourage our son to always try his best and to never feel discouraged or give up. We want him to turn his autism into something positive because he does have special gifts that need to be awakened and put to good use that will help inspire him and teach him to believe in himself because he is very capable and very deserving.

God Bless you Matty! We love you and want you to always know that. Never lose heart kid! You are our superstar!

Love always,

Your mom and dad

Edward D. Iannielli III

We owe it to our son!

Autism is a part of our son's life and we have been very supportive and loving every step of the way. It has been a long and winding road with many twists and turns and we have been trying to find the right support system to help our son and encourage him to do his best and to never lose heart. I have had days where I felt like crying when I saw how much my son struggled and longed for friendship. When you see the sadness and the isolation in your child's eyes and you hear them express it through words it really has a way of bringing you down and making you understand the pain they feel. I know in ways that only a father can and it is very emotional for me to try and express it the way I see and feel it as I see my son isolate himself. I can relate in ways as I was a very shy kid growing up and only had a handful of friends.

The most difficult thing in life we all will encounter is finding acceptance. The first thing we learn is that we must learn to accept and love our self first. We can not have a relationship with someone else if we have not come to accept and understand who we are. I believe autistic children indeed struggle with who they are and it takes time for them to come to a level of comfort with themselves as they explore and live beyond what they are used to. Autistic children must be encouraged to initiate and try new things and that is the exact opposite of what they are used to.

When my son was a little boy I would try to draw his attention away from what he was doing as a typical father would with his son but I suddenly realized my son was different and when he was playing in his little corner there seemed to be no way of breaking through to him. He would be so engrossed in what he was doing that it would be virtually impossible in distracting him. I remember when he was lining up his matchbox and hot wheels cars one by one in the living room in a long line there was no way of engaging him as he just seemed content in setting up one car after another until he got to the other side of the room and then he would start a new line of cars. He seemed to do this for a couple of hours until he tired of it and he would not say a word. I would try to engage him and it seemed I was just a witness to what he was doing. I felt sad that I could not share this activity with him in a way where we felt connected. It seemed although we were together and I was looking on with interest that he was still alone in his little world and this made me realize what autism is all about.

I tried to find ways of bringing my son out of this world he retreated to as a young child and found that I needed to talk with my wife and other parents who have been affected in such a way. I found it hard trying to put a finger on it but I knew I could express what I was feeling and maybe someone could help shed some light on what goes on in an autistic child's mind and why is it so hard to connect with them. We all from time to time enjoy alone time but for my son it seemed alone time was the preferred way but I do not believe that he intentionally enjoyed being alone. I believe he just felt comfortable being outside of social situations.

We try our best to engage our son in activities which require participation and offer the opportunity to make friends and have fun. The most fun he has is with his camp experiences in the summertime. He feels happy in camp because he gets swim time on a hot day and to him water is his playground. He can spend hours splashing around in the pool and we feel confident with the staff and lifeguards present. Camp is a great opportunity for him to participate with other kids his age and to gain attention with the counselors. I believe this is so very important in developing our son's self esteem and also getting him out and doing fun things with other children. We are fortunate to have him enrolled in camp this summer and we are looking forward to seeing him progress and enjoying himself and hopefully making friends after a rather difficult school year.

We are always trying to find things to open up our son's world and we know it first starts in his school. We are still trying to find the best school for our son that will challenge him and allow him to feel comfortable and find acceptance. The main issue with our son and the schools he has attended is his inability to control his feelings and emotions and most importantly, his behavior. We are working in providing him with the understanding of how he should behave and conduct himself in school and in public and hoping that if we reinforce it in the proper way that eventually it will register with him so he doesn't continue to find himself in a similar situation of not having a school to go to.

Deep down our son is a wonderful kid but he is closed off from the outside world in many ways that affects how he acts and behaves when he is confronted with situations and has to express himself. In my world as a shy kid I just remained quiet but was always attentive to my responsibilities as a student. My son has difficulty in associating importance to achievement. It seems he does not feel the connection to schoolwork,effort and achievement that was instilled in me as a child. It seems the hard wiring is very different for an autistic child and there are great disconnects to reality.

If I could magically wave a wand to get my son to understand that he too has responsibilities and must follow rules I would do it in an instant because all the conversations I have with him seem to not make much of an impact. I am not a psychologist or a doctor so I am not always sure how best to talk to him about these matters but I am a father who loves his son and truly cares about him and I will do everything in my power to teach him right from wrong and show him that he too must be responsible and learn to behave and get along with his fellow classmates and show respect for his teachers. I owe it to him! We owe it to him!

I will always maintain a relationship with my son where I will try to inspire him and guide him. We are also seeking young adults who spend time with him mentoring and providing a good example. There is a sweet young girl who is in her second year of college who comes in the afternoon to spend a couple of hours with our son and plays games and talks with him and engages him bringing the kid that he is out and making a valuable connection. She also has her brother who is a high school student come and spend some time with our son. He does boy things like have a base ball catch and set up his train set. We are very encouraged that our son is starting to open up and is making valuable contacts and we will work to continue this and hopefully he will be able to all on his own as well. Autism is a part of our son's life but it is not his life. His life can be so much more and he can dream and believe and manage even with Autism. God Bless you, Matthew! We love you and stand with you always!

Edward D. Iannielli III

A part of me

I have always lived my life wondering and hoping that I could make a difference. We all want to make an impact that is positive and helps others in some way. It is part of our human nature to want to reach out and share a part of ourselves and in turn provide a source of support and comfort to someone in need. As a son, a brother, a nephew, a cousin, an uncle, a friend, a student, an employee, a colleague, a husband and a father I have learned many things in my life for which I am very grateful. I have grown to realize that our lives are everchanging, constantly evolving, always shared with others and filled with hopes, dreams, ideas, visions, accomplishments, disappointments, joys and heartbreaks.

If someone asked me to define who I am and to discuss what it is I wish to be remembered for I would reflect deeply before answering this and I would be very sincere, honest and speak from my heart because I have experienced the good fortune of living with special people in my life who have passed on and I felt a part of me has been lost in their passing. I truly believe that the good in others rubs off on us making us better in our own lives. We are certainly influenced by others and the best impact a person can have on us is to leave us with their memory and a positive feeling that resides within our heart and our mind. Whenever that moment comes where we think about that special bond we once had with that person we feel blessed and privileged. This is the gift that I wish to provide to another making them feel they are not alone and that they indeed are loved and appreciated.

If I could give you a brief glimpse into my life I would first have to say that my childhood was filled with many happy moments and that I had very loving parents who cared for me and helped me to believe in myself. There were times I had doubts and wondered how I would feel as I grew into adulthood. Everything seems to be a mystery filled with uncertainty and we have to assume that our lives are important and have meaning and we should always feel special even when we are feeling down. Life is too short and we will realize this when we start to lose those who were special to us, certainly our parents. They were our first teachers and they taught us about life, love, perseverance and to believe in ourselves. They raised us from infancy to adulthood and they listened to us each and every day. We take that with us and we try our best to do the same for our children if we are so blessed.

When we become parents we start to appreciate all that our parents had done for us and we try to instill in our children the same family values we learned as children. When it comes to caring for our children we will nurture them, love them, cherish them, guide them, treasure them, teach them and one day we will have to accept the fact that our children will become adults too making their own choices and living apart from us. For now we will treasure the times we have with our children and we hope we will always be there for them sharing, living and experiencing all that they encounter as they navigate through life on their terms. It is our very special gift to experience the joys of raising children and we certainly want to do our very best to help them develop into fine young adults ready to take on the many challenges that come their way.

I have become very sensitive to my son's difficulties and challenges as an autistic child and sometimes I feel like crying but a part of me realizes that I need to be strong and very supportive always encouraging him and staying devoted to helping him through as he encounters life with the many ups and downs we all experience. He teaches me and helps me to understand what is most important giving me a real perspective on our lives shared with each other. I have become a much better person for understanding and knowing what my son goes through and for that I am very lucky. My son has showed me so much in his young life and I will always hope to be there for him every step of the way supporting him, guiding him and teaching him with his mom, my wife by our side.

I have been writing to help express my feelings, my hopes, my wishes, my intentions, my fears and most of all my love for my son who has taught me so much about life and courage. For him living with autism is an everyday challenge and we all must realize that although it may be a challenge we have to help him focus and live each day with a smile and a brave face with words of encouragement and an unconditional love that knows no boundaries. My mission in life is to do my very best in raising my son and helping him through each and every day loving him, guiding him and always being there for him. He has the potential and the intelligence to do good in his life and we need to constantly reinforce this with him with positive, loving and reassuring words of wisdom and hope. My hope is that my son will know no limitations and will be able to achieve his dreams and make great strides in his life living with courage, hope, faith, trust, love and an abundance of friends and family there for him always. Knowing that my son will be ok in his life will make me feel better and allow me to have peace in my life.

I dedicate this to my wife and son who have showed me so much and opened my eyes to many things. I am forever grateful.

Edward D. Iannielli III

My son and a new school.

It's been said that education is an essential and major part of our life and the level we accomplish determines the type of success we achieve. For most of us school is a place where we learn and find a home away from home and we develop friendships and focus on our studies. In my school days the only time I missed a day was when I was sick. I never had difficulties in the schools I attended or in my classes and I never had the experience of being suspended. I was a quiet kid but I managed to achieve success and make some friends along the way.

For my son school has been a challenge but not from the perspective of academics as he is very bright. The challenge is social and behavioral. Ever since he was a toddler attending school he needed a pretty extensive support system to address his special needs as an autistic child with a seizure disorder. We have been trying to help our son get through these emotional challenges he encounters and find the necessary support system that will allow him to overcome them and to flourish. He needs continual encouragement and mentoring that will help him develop self confidence and a sense of self worth. He has a kind and caring side that needs to be recognized and further developed so he can shine and be known for how he really is.

All kids from time to time have tantrums and act out but it seems our son has them more frequently and this has resulted in many disruptions in his schooling experience and it has led to several suspensions through the years leading to frequent absences that have contributed to his losing out on learning, his gradual loss of self esteem and his inability to have normal socialization with his peers. We have been very concerned about the predicament they have put him in as a student without a school and felt the schools he attended were not helping him and decided to take the easy way out when they suspended him.

The last school he was attending tried to provide him an education and keep him in the classroom and the school but the meltdowns our son encountered were too much for the school to handle and they were not equipped to help him through them so they took the action of a permanent suspension which was for 5 months starting in late November 2010 around Thanksgiving break and it lasted through Spring break, April 2011 until the Easter holiday. His former school did provide a teacher to come to the house for a 2 hour lesson, 5 days a week. This was the minimum education he was receiving for that period he was out of school and it was not always consistent. During that period his former school was also working on helping place our son in a suitable school environment.

We had several meetings with his former school trying to find the right school setting for our son and the school that was highly regarded and recommended was the James E Allen Middle School and High School which is a BOCES school that caters to special needs and handicapped children. The school learned of our son's situation and they were open to admitting him where other schools were not. We were impressed with the school and the learning environment and the philosophy and we were confident that they would be able to help our son where the other schools were not so we decided to accept the school as our son's next school. We are very concerned for our son's education and we want him to feel comfortable and happy in the school he attends and we feel that James E. Allen will help him to get to that point.

His very first day of school at James E Allen was Tuesday, April 26 which he said felt like the start of a new school year. He is now adjusting to being in a new school with new teachers in a new location trying to make new friends and trying to do his best while containing his emotions. I am very sympathetic to my son for all the challenges he faces and I am trying my best to encourage him and help him to believe in himself and to find his strengths. Since he seems to enjoy math and writing I feel he should focus on doing his best in these areas as well as science, music and art. I believe in my son and know he can do well in school and deal with the social barriers most autistic children face because he has so much potential and he is deep down a wonderful young boy with a very kind and caring heart.    

As a parent with hopes and dreams for their child I stand by my son with my wife and we fully expect our son to overcome his difficulties and to flourish in the right school and we are confident that James E. Allen Middle/High School will allow him such an opportunity.

Good Luck Matty, We love you and we know you will find your way and we will always be there to help you and guide you as will your teachers. Enjoy your new school!

Edward D. Iannielli III

We all have a story to tell

Reflection and thought are essential in relating our experiences and telling our story. We all indeed have a story to tell as we think back and find the words to express all that is important to us. As we reflect on our life we will have many memories and experiences to share and sometimes we may shed a tear in speaking about those who were there for us in our life and are now gone such as our parents. We were just babies in the beginning and we were totally dependent on our parents who held us, comforted us and wiped away our tears. They made sure we were well fed and changed and they spoke and sang to us and helped us to laugh and say our first words. They were there for us when we took our first steps and they cheered for us when we walked towards them with arms wide open. Our parents always made us feel safe and they taught us very important values that helped shape us as individuals and made us understand how we should live our lives.

Expressing ourselves is essential and we have so many ways of doing so. We will find in our lives that establishing relationships with others requires a lot of energy, time, commitment, devotion and desire. We learn from the relationships we forge in our lives and we are very much influenced by them as well. As we grow, mature and develop self confidence and a sense of who we are we start to find our way developing friendships and most importantly, our personality. We must always remember that we are worthwhile and deserving of a life filled with happiness, joy, love, achievement, friendship and respect.

The joys of growing up and developing relationships helps give meaning to our lives and enables us to become interconnected as we become young adults. As we mature we will start to appreciate the relationships we develop with members of the opposite sex. For most of us dating is a time of great uncertainty and we feel uncomfortable initially but as we start to feel accepted and start to enjoy the experiences of doing things together with our "sweethearts" we will find that those relationships are truly special and very important to us. There is no better feeling in the world then to feel loved by a young woman and for a boy now becoming a young man this love is the most exciting and most challenging experience we will encounter. We must always remember to be respectful, kind, considerate and flexible. We will also start to realize the positive impact a young woman will have in our life.

We learn early on the importance of education and being responsible. Our success is measured by what we achieve and accomplish throughout our life and we all have the same opportunities but we all have different priorities and values which influence us in the decisions we make and the level of success we achieve. We also must be strong and resilient to all the challenges and obstacles we certainly will encounter along the way.
The mind is a very powerful creation and there is no limit to what it can achieve but it is the person who controls the mind and it is emotion that controls the person so we all have to learn to control our feelings and emotions and maintain clear and concise thought.

As we live our lives and we experience the many encounters, changes, stages, emotions and people we come in contact with we will start to know that life is truly wonderful and although we may find uncertainty, indecision, disappointment, failure and heartbreak along the way we also will find joy, happiness, love, achievement and success which will help us to go on and take the good with the bad so we can have a balanced life.

As we so often realize in life that we need to have others around us we will also want to share our lives with others and one day marry and raise a family. It is human nature to desire companionship and to have children. Children are very special and it is when we experience the birth of our own child that we learn the importance of responsibility and we get to truly appreciate the beauty, the miracle and the innocence of life. We find our lives take a new direction and we become wiser and more caring when we become parents. We also live our lives with our children as the central focal point in our life. It is our children that give us strength, courage and joy and make us far better as adults. We protect, care and nurture our children and they teach us so much about life and unconditional love.

The hardest part in life is getting older and experiencing loss of our loved ones. For those who were close to us it is so hard to have to come to the realization that we will no longer see them and all that will remain are the precious memories. We will need to always keep our guard up and maintain a sense of hope and always try our best to balance our emotions and feelings to get through the tough and difficult times. This is part of life and this also has a tremendous impact on us in how we live and survive and care for our families. We are human and we have emotions and feelings and we will find at times that we will cry and feel very sad but we must know that we also will laugh once again despite these sad realities we will encounter.

As we reflect on our lives and all the people who cared for us, taught us, shared with us, talked to us, loved us and made us feel special we will feel a special bond that will never be broken and when we reflect on those who were truly special such as our parents, our siblings, our friends, our teachers, our spouse, our children and our relatives we will feel very fortunate and happy and that will be a major part of our story and a major force in who we are.

So when I think of all the special people in my life and the years gone by and how quickly they have passed I too realize I have a story worth telling that chronicles my love of my family and how truly grateful I am for all who have helped shape my life and made me realize how beautiful life is and how special it is to have children and to always be there for them no matter what. No one stands alone. We all need someone to help pick us up and bring us back. I am so very lucky and I will remember this each and every day I wake. Thank you for being there for me.

Dedicated to my mom and dad, my wife and my son with love.

Edward D. Iannielli  III

Autism - A parent's wish for their child

We all have our own ways of dealing with the difficulties we encounter in life and sometimes it takes a great deal of time and the loving support of others to help us get through them. I know from my own personal experiences how hard it is to recover and get back to a "normal routine" when we are trying to cope with life's saddest of moments and how hard we try to be brave at a most difficult time. As I have grown to realize this I have also come to learn something very important and that is to always have patience, understanding and hope when it comes to raising an autistic child.

We as parents want to protect our children and always make them feel safe and loved. It is very important to listen and understand what is happening in their life and to give them the freedom and the time they need to express themselves and speak their mind. All children whether they are autistic, handicapped or normal have to feel comfortable with expressing themselves and fitting in. For children on the autistic spectrum it is a lot more challenging for parents and loved ones to communicate and reach them so it is essential that care be taken in understanding and reaching out to them and allowing them to share their feelings with us.

Every child has dreams and hopes and parents all wish to see their children smile and feel happy about their life and their surroundings. Children have an innocence in their young life and we always want to see them continue with this youthful innocence shielding them and allowing them to be kids for as long as possible. Children are seemingly growing up sooner and sooner these days and it is a shame because life has pressures and we certainly don't want our children to feel these pressures too soon. Once you out grow your childhood you can't go back so you certainly don't wish to rush through it. It seems though when we are young kids we can't wait to grow up and when we are adults we wish we could be kids again. I always remind my son that he should enjoy and appreciate his childhood because it passes by in a flash and when we look back we wonder how this has happened.

As I talk with my son I try to speak to him in a way where he feels comfortable and not make him feel like he is being lectured to. It is not always so simple and I admit I am learning every day but I know that with my son who has his share of challenges I have to walk a fine line in how I talk to him about his inappropriate behaviors and his feelings. I wish I could give him peace of mind and the feeling of always being protected. It hurts me terribly when I see my son struggling and having difficulty in school and I want more than anything else to see him making progress, learning and thriving.

It seems that autistic children have difficult times in relating to others and in expressing themselves properly. They often have difficulty with self control and in participating in activities with their peers. Sensitivities to food, texture, aroma, sound, crowds and change are fairly common and usually impact greatly on an autistic child. As I speak to my son I try to find out what is going on in his mind and what his wishes, hopes and dreams are. For a parent it is so joyous to see their child get excited about something worthwhile and show their enthusiasm and dedication. Children need to dream and wish for things important to them. Some children have a sad disposition that contributes to a feeling of depression and hopelessness and it is so critical that these children get the necessary medical attention they need because it is not something that should be brushed off as a part of growing up. Too many children are suffering and they must be able to communicate this to a parent or someone they trust so it doesn't get overwhelming for them. If they don't get the help they need they will wind up getting into trouble or worse.

Despite my son's recent difficulties and his situation with being home schooled because his former school could not adequately meet his needs and deal with his meltdowns in the class room he is a great kid with a tremendous potential. He knows that he has to work hard to control his feelings and we try our best to explain this to him without getting him upset. I know in my heart he should be back in school and given a chance to tap into his potential and hopefully turn things around but I do worry for him and wonder when he will find it getting a bit easier so he can go back to an appropriate school setting. I am so emotionally caught up in my son's situation that sometimes I feel like I am not doing all I can to help him. My biggest challenge is getting him back to school and making him realize how he needs to do his part in performing responsibly and with dedication and pride. He also needs to find something healthy to do with other children that will give him a renewed feeling of accomplishment and happiness and will also lead to a positive self esteem and an opportunity to make friendships. 

If I could fulfill my one wish it would be to see my son making strides and once again learning in school and making progress each and every day. I want my son to learn and prosper and find his way so he can do his best and help others as he always wishes to do. My son is empathetic and wishes to ease the burden of others but he first must ease his own. May you always walk with the knowledge that you are never alone, my son. Always remember that your faith in the lord will help you always.    

Edward D. Iannielli III