Monday, January 9, 2012
A parent's expectations
As we see our children grow we will realize that the time seems to go by way too fast. It seems the days of tending to our crying baby is a distant memory yet as we calmed them and tended to them and held them gently in our arms it seemed those days would last forever. It is sad in a way that those precious times are gone forever only to be a memory now. Every new parent should really treasure their child's infancy and toddler years because they go by in a flash and before you know it the little baby is now growing up and going to school. The reality of life is that it is always moving forward and things change and we all must learn to adapt and live with the changes. As parents we want our child to be perfect in every way and we want them to always be happy and comfortable. We take great measures in providing our child a positive upbringing but we also must realize that life is not perfect and we will encounter challenges along the way.
Raising a child who has special needs can at times affect us in ways that cause us to worry and wonder what their future will hold. We must learn to get past these feelings and focus on the here and now. We can't worry about the future. We have to focus on the time we have now with our child and we can only live it one day at a time and learn that we need help and support also so we can do all we need to do for our child. We must view them as special and never get down on them. We must always hold on to hope for them and teach them to believe in themselves and to never give up. They are here like we are to live their life and find their purpose. Special needs children also have purpose and they are beautiful and deserve to be nurtured, loved and given the same opportunities as their peers.
If I could share what it is like raising a child on the autistic spectrum and portray it in a picture and capture it in a truthful and realistic way I would show a photograph of a child standing all alone, silent with an expressionless face as other children are milling about talking and playing together. It is heartbreaking when you see a child in a crowd with no one to talk to and feeling all alone. I have come to realize that there are many children diagnosed with autism who have difficulty in social situations. Although they may be very bright they have extreme difficulty in self expression and making contact with others. They are awkward in making friends and in verbalizing their feelings. We have dealt with these same issues with our son and although he has made progress he still struggles in making friends and feeling comfortable in social situations. We are there for our son every step of the way and will stand by his side all throughout as he is our number one priority and we want to see him happy, well adjusted and have every opportunity to find special friends in his life and to do his best in school. He is our precious gift and we realize this every day and we want the very best for him.
We as parents have expectations for our son and over the years we have learned to understand his situation but we still believe in him and have faith and confidence in his abilities and we feel he is truly special and will find his way and have a life filled with opportunity, happiness, success and friendship. We love our son very much and we are so very blessed to have him in our life. We pray for him everyday and have faith that everything will all work out for the best. Love you Matty!
Edward D. Iannielli III