Our son is 16 years old and struggles daily with autism since age 3. I identify with my son for different reasons. I'm transgender knowing since age 4. Emily.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Life Lessons: A mother's love
I have many wonderful memories of my mother and I like to think back to those moments in my life because they were times filled with happiness, comforting words, encouragement and love. A bond between a mother and her son is a very important one and the bond I had with my mother truly made me a better person and I felt a closeness that was strong and genuine. I was always shy throughout my life but I still was able to conduct myself and be heard. My mother always said that if I put forth my best effort in everything I do and I believe in myself then everything will take care of itself. I should never fear life and always should be in control and see the bright side to everything no matter how dismal things may seem. She told me to have faith and to trust in my self and to always have heart.
I learned as a young boy that if I try my best and learn from my mistakes then I could turn things around and see progress and start to feel good about myself. As a young kid I would struggle with my assignments but I managed throughout because of the support and dedication of my mom in sitting with me and helping me to learn by reading and rereading the questions until I started to understand them. She sat patiently and helped teach me the new math until I developed enough confidence to solve the problems on my own. She also made sure I received the proper tutoring in the classroom and the help and support of my teachers.
As I think back to those days and the devotion of my mother I feel very touched and I get all choked up knowing how special she was to me. I miss her and I feel an emptiness in my heart especially today as it is now 20 years that we lost her. She died on March 21, 1990. No matter how many years have passed it still is sad as I think back to the day I first found out and I still feel that pain and sorrow as if I just found out about it yesterday. We learn a great deal about life from our parents and they are the most important people in our lives as they gave us life and taught us the way to live our life.
I see the special bond developing with my wife and our son and I am very happy knowing that Matthew has a mother who loves him so very much and has his best interest at heart. I encourage him to develop a healthy bond with his mom and to talk to her about whatever is on his mind. I want him to never feel alone or overwhelmed and to know how much he is loved. Autistic children tend to be distant in their relations and their bonding and relationships formed are not as easy or straight forward but are vital just the same. I try to envision my youth and my bond with my mom so I can provide Matthew with insight and advice on how important it is to talk and be heard. I let him know that we both are here for him and he should always feel comfortable in talking with both Maria and I.
I always appreciate seeing the relationships of mothers and their children and I realize how special a mother's love is towards her child. It is such a beautiful thing to see a mother holding her baby and sensing the love she holds for that little baby and how natural the bond is. As the baby grows so does the bond and that bond lasts as long as the mother is here with her child. The bond would last forever if the mother had her choice. My mother was always there for me even as a young man working in my mid twenties. I am sad I never had the opportunity to share my family with my mom. Matthew has seen pictures and always says how beautiful my mother was and I just feel sad that they never had the opportunity to meet. It seems life can be so cruel sometimes. We have to grow accustomed to these heartbreaks and just know in our heart that even though we don't see our loved one's anymore they are here with us in spirit helping guide us and they know our family and are very proud. I enjoy holding on to that and I enjoy sharing pictures with my son so he can realize how special my mother was and how happy she would be to meet him.
A mother's love transcends all and is everlasting and it is what makes our lives so much happier and meaningful and brings a smile to our face and a bounce in our step. Thank you mom! I love you and I am so lucky to have had you in my life and I am also proud to say you and dad both helped me to become a better person so I could become a responsible husband and dad and be fortunate enough to have both a wonderful wife in Maria and a wonderful son in Matthew (Matty).
I Love you Mom!
I Love you Dad!
I Love you Maria!
I Love you Matty!
I Love you All!
Edward D. Iannielli III
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Please feel free to read my writings and leave a kind message or suggestion. Thank you. Emily