Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Life Lessons: Putting on a brave face
Sometimes I feel we go through life and never really get to enjoy it as often as we should because we have so much responsibility and pressure in our adulthood and it certainly affects us in our everyday life. There are times when we are caught up in the every day pressures imposed on us and it takes away the enjoyment and innocence of life. We become hardened and more insensitive and lose the special qualities we are blessed with as kids. As kids our view of life is so much different than our view as adults. For most of us when we are kids we live pretty carefree and certainly rely on our parents and trust in them and learn from them. However I do know that for some kids they are thrust into roles of great responsibility as a result of family tragedy. I know of several friends who lost a father or mother before they were teenagers and their lives had changed dramatically as they had to deal with their loss and also deal with having to grow up and take on responsibility at a much younger age.
We know as we experience life it is a gift and we are fortunate to have such a great opportunity to live and grow and become our own person and experience all that life has to offer. If we are lucky enough to marry and have children our lives become more fulfilling and we now begin the next phase of our life as adults with more responsibility and more joy. When you have a child depending on you it makes you realize how important it is to take on the role of father and provider because your child is your main focus and you realize how important it is for you to do all you can for them.
The most important thing you learn as a parent is that you need to make the most of your time and balance it so you are able to make a living providing for your family and also spending the necessary time with your family as well. It is so very important to spend as much time with your child as you can because they need to have that interaction as does the parent and they need to feel loved and protected.
In relating to your children you always need to let them know how much you love them and that they will always be protected. You need to always reassure them that everything is ok. Sometimes you have to put on a brave face if you know things are not always perfect. In life we will encounter our share of struggles and loss and you have to be strong to rise above the setbacks especially for your children. You always need to stay focused and stay strong and have a clear mind. Since we have to deal with pressure and heart break at times it is easy to show your sadness, concern and uncertainty which is not something you want to let on to your children. They are very bright and usually can sense if things are not going well so you always have to be resilient to the struggles and overcome them so you don't upset your children.
It is not always easy to summon the strength to deal with all that comes up and sometimes we do breakdown and need to find the courage to seek the help necessary to get through the difficult times. If life was perfect and free of worry and nothing bad happened we would be living in a dream world because that just is not the case. Life is hard and it does not matter if we are wealthy or working class. Everyone encounters similar struggles and we are all going to face sad times as well as happy times. When you can look at the positive side of things and you can find the right balance of work and family and you can find the inner strength and courage to live your life and do your best then you will be able to find the peace you need to enjoy life and make the most of it and provide your children with the love and security they need to grow and experience happiness in their young lives.
As parents in dealing with our own experiences raising our children we gain insight into what our parents must have went through and we gain a deep appreciation for them and for how they raised us. We tend to draw upon our childhood as a reference in relating to our children. It is the joys of our childhood that enable us to be strong for our children and do whatever we have to so we can assure them of the same joys and wonder that all kids deserve before they have to grow up and face their own challenges. We have to teach them and help provide them with the coping skills they will need to face the world and live their lives so they can strive for their hopes and dreams. We also have to teach them to always put on a brave face as they encounter the many facets of life.
Edward D. Iannielli III