I just need a hug!

Sometimes we are so caught up with the daily routine of our lives and it seems like we are trying to please so many though it seems like we please nobody. It has always been my firm belief to always take pride in whatever I do and try to do my absolute best and to never get discouraged. I have come to realize in life that there will be happy times and sad times and that it is not the best thing to get all excited and yell when things seem to be difficult because there is no benefit from it. Sure we all have our crosses to bear and we all have pressures from work, from our home life and from a failing economy. Sometimes we have feelings where we wish we could just be taken away from this existence and just have eternal peace with no more worries and concerns. It is very important to know that these feelings can be changed and it just requires a different way of looking at things. We all need to take a moment and realize we should be grateful for all the positive things in our lives and know that family is everything. Our children are who we live for and it is our promise to them that keeps us focused and working hard to make a decent living so we can provide for them properly. The hardest part of raising children is knowing that one day they will be responsible for themselves and it is our primary purpose to ready them for that time so they will be prepared. Our son is in need of medical care and has a labeled disability which makes us always concerned for his welfare and we want what is best for him so we always have to make sure his medical needs are always being met and he is making progress.

I have always tried to be easygoing in how I approach my life but also have the intensity to work to do my best and get along with everybody. I learned this from my dad who always listened to me and was always there for me. My mom was always there for me also especially during my school years. It it like this now with our son. I have the same affection and feeling of wanting to help him. He is a wonderful boy and he deserves my complete attention as well as Maria's. I always try to envision what life is like for my son during the day when he is at school. He has made progress and we are always encouraged by that and we take one day at a time. We want what is best for him and hope he can expand his horizons. Tonight I saw my son drawing a shopping mall parking lot with parking spaces and sections taping several sheets of paper together to make it as large as he can and I know he loves to do things like this. As he was doing this I had a great idea that would be a great learning experience for him and would provide him with hours of fun and entertainment each time he uses it so I went to Target and bought him a pack of Sim City programs where he can design cities, amusement parks, resorts and roadways on the computer. I think this is something he will absolutely enjoy and it makes me happy when he is happy.

I feel when I am working long hours and I don't get to see my wife and son as often it is absolutely necessary to spend the time with them when I have that time to do so. The challenges we face at times can really affect us and make us feel a bit overwhelmed and it is our hope to face them as best we can with favorable outcomes. When I feel down because I lost someone very close to me or I had a tough day at work or I am getting older I sometimes draw inwards and tend to be introverted and want to be alone. The problem is I then tend to think to much and then I get upset and feel depressed. Depression is not good because it takes everything that is good from you and replaces it with negative thinking and a feeling of hopelessness. I saw my mother suffer from depression for several years up until her premature death and it was very sad seeing her go from a strong willed woman who was very independent and loving to someone I barely recognized as she totally regressed to a point where she was so feeble she needed assistance just to get out of bed. There were days where she would just stay in her bed for days and it was very very sad to see such a complete deterioration of her personality and spirit. It brings me to the harsh realities of life and I have shed many tears over the years.

When you feel alone sometimes and you start to realize your own mortality and also realize you have family that need to be protected it is absolutely necessary that you have all the systems in place that will provide financial support for them. My hope is to always be there for our son and see him do well in his adulthood and to have a long happy life with my wife and see our son have a family of his own when he is ready. It seems today our lives are so complicated and we have to just be strong and focused and realize that when we get down that a hug is special and sometimes I feel that a hug is what I need to get through the day.

Edward D. Iannielli III