Effective communication.

It is essential in every aspect of our life and it enables us to express ourselves and address our feelings and interact with others and establish relationships. The key to all that is effective communication and it is something that we develop throughout our life with our experiences. We usually are introduced to learning how to communicate as infants when we cry for feeding or to be changed. As we get older we start to form words and start to talk usually by the time we are 18 months. By the time we are 3 years old we are usually stringing words together in sentences and are able to talk with our parents or care providers. As we become young children and go off to school that is the time when we start to learn to speak for ourselves and to take responsibility for ourselves. Communication is the method by which a parent and child both interact with each other and allows each to state their feelings. It is important that the parent listen to the child and try to understand the child's perspective. It is not good practice to be negative with responses to your children as it can affect the child and hurt them emotionally.

In understanding a child you must truly listen to them and be able to step in their shoes and understand them. That is the hardest part in communicating but it is the most important part and it gives you more insight in to what your child needs. As parents we know there are boundaries we have to set with our kids and we obviously do not want to spoil them but it is imperative that we listen to them and let them say what they have to say and that we listen to them.

With an autistic child the communication process is a bit delayed and is much more difficult too for the child to express his or her feelings and it leads to frustration and anger on the part of the child and feelings of helplessness on the part of the parents It is imperative that the child be enrolled in speech therapy and learn situational social dialogues to teach them how to properly express what they are feeling.

In these instances autistic children refrain from social settings to avoid these situations and opt to be alone and occupy themselves with repetitive activities that keep them busy. The problem is they never learn to get along with others and remain behind in social arenas which will hurt them socially.

We are striving to help our son develop in his social growth and expose him to programs that will allow him to learn how to communicate and express himself so he can make friends and have fun and grow like all the other kids. We want Matthew to experience all the things his classmates are and wish for him to fit in and feel good about himself.

Also we realize as Matthew matures and grows we also need to know how to talk to him as he matures and goes through adolescence and has many questions. We need to see that we are there to talk to him of his feelings and what he is experiencing and help him understand and learn how to manage his feelings and emotions. As kids grow they are experiencing so many changes and we as parents have to be there for them to help them through it all and allow them to speak their feeling and it is our responsibility to listen to them and provide them guidance and insight.

I make it a point to spend time with Matthew and discuss all that he is feeling and I try to make him understand that it is important to be well rounded in school, social activities, sporting activities and artistic activities as this will help shape him and help expose him so he can strive to achieve noble pursuits.

I know Maria and I both support our son and we would do anything to help him learn how to properly express his feelings and needs so he can do what he is meant to do.

Edward D. Iannielli III