Saturday, August 22, 2009

Memories are what bridge the gap between your past and the present

In one's lifetime the one thing to be certain of is many lasting memories. Memories are what bridge the gap between our past and the present. We live our lives and share many experiences with many people. The first people we share our life with are our parents and our siblings. Family is our support system and we derive our earliest experiences from our family life. We learn so much in our first 2 years of life and usually the first person we have an intimate relationship with is our mother who teaches us love and protects us. We are so dependent on our parents and we are so helpless without them. The miracle of life and the mystery is such a wonderment. We are so blessed to have this gift and the ability to share it with others. I have many fond memories of my early childhood and growing up in a tight knit family. Mom and Dad surrounded us with love and provided us all the comforts and necessities young babies need. We were very lucky and had lots of love and encouragement along the way. I have become a better person because my parents taught me how to respect and to strive for my absolute best and to never give up. I grew up with 2 sisters who were like my best friends. We had many happy times and enjoyed many joyous occasions together. I can think back to our first time when we discovered that mom and dad were the ones who put our christmas presents under the tree. As we were a little older and wondered about Santa we would sneek around the house to see if there were hidden presents and when we found them in a closet we realized who Santa was. We were not disappointed. In fact it made us realize how special our parents were.

Memories are so very important and I get choked up when I see pictures of my mom and dad when they were young. Mom and Dad were so special and I feel such a loss and emptiness coming to grips with their loss. Mom was so beautiful and she was so loving and caring and one I confided in throughout the years about so many things and also asked advice from when I saw a cute girl I wanted to talk to. We lost mom so many years ago but no matter how many years have passed the pain I feel is still there and it never goes away. It just gets less attention thru the passage of time but it still is in my mind and my love for her will always remain in my heart. My dad's loss is so very difficult because it is recent and dad was a big part of our lives and our children's lives. Dad was very special and he was so much an integral part of our daily life. Dad would always visit us and spend time with Matthew. He was such a great dad and grandfather. He would always call me and check in to see how I was doing. When I heard dad had passed I was so much in shock and felt so deeply saddened and knew life would be so much different and never the same as I had so gotten used to. It seems you never really know how lucky you are to have such a bond until you lose it and that is what I struggle with now as I feel such sadness in my heart. Dad was such a wonderful person and I will cherish his memory and live my life in his honor and give Matthew all my love and devotion as my parents did for my sisters and I. I am the lucky one!

When Matthew was born I was so happy and so proud as that was the happiest day of my life and I cherish having Maria and Matthew in my life. We learn a lot from our parents and we try to provide all our love and support to our family as we learned from our parents.

My earliest memories of my mom singing lullabys to me made me enjoy watching my son drift off to sleep with the playing of lullabys to him but rather than me singing them as my voice wasn't nearly as soothing and beautiful as my mom's I played them from a cd. It had the same effect as it helped him sleep through the night. Maria and I enjoyed watching Matthew's first accomplishments when he said his first word and when he started to stand. Since Matthew was speech delayed it was a monumentous moment when he strung his first words together in a sentence. We were so delighted as we knew his early intervention teachers were remarkable and helped our son so much. Maria also liked to read to Matthew before bedtime and I enjoyed watching her read as Matthew listened intently. Watching your baby develop in the precious moments after birth and through the first 2 years is truly remarkable and there is nothing that compares to it. It is a joyous time and as parents we are so fortunate to be a part of it. Matthew gives us such joy and such priceless memories and those memories will last me a lifetime and mean so much more to me than any material thing I would ever wish for. I am so lucky to have a son I love and cherish and look forward to a lifetime of joy and shared moments together with Matthew and Maria in my life. I am a very lucky man and owe it to my parents and my family and especially to our son!

Thank you for all the beautiful memories and for the many many more to come!

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Please feel free to read my writings and leave a kind message or suggestion. Thank you. Emily