Thursday, August 27, 2009

My dad always says there's a girl out there for you!

I always remember when I was a kid of about 10 or 11 years old my dad would always tell me how important it is to have friends and life is more rewarding when you get to share it with someone special. He would constantly remind me of this all throughout my teenage years into early adulthood. He told me how much happier he was when he met mom and he said when they first met he knew she was the one. He would always say there is a girl out there waiting for me and she is living her life as you are and she too is wondering about you too. He said it is God's will when a man and a woman come together and it is truly a miracle when they share a love and a bond so strong to bring a precious life into the world. I did think about it and often wondered the girl I would meet and how we would meet and where she lived and what she liked to do and what school she went to and how many brothers and sisters she had. It was something I took pleasure in thinking about because it made me excited to know that it was very possible that I would meet a girl very special to me.

I was very shy as a kid so my experiences with girls were very limited and as a teenager I wished I could talk with the girls but never really mustered up the nerve which frustrated me because I always wanted to have girl friends. I remember when I turned 15 or 16 I really noticed how cute the girls were and I felt very attracted and enjoyed any time they noticed me or said hello. I was quite shy and dealt with my shyness and insecurities with athletics as I developed an interest in running and I started training for the highschool cross country team. It was fun to run and it felt great to challenge myself and I felt great passing a pretty girl and getting a cheer or a whistle. Running to me was another escape for me and it helped me escape from the sad experiences within our family life. My family life was wonderful but we were very concerned for mom as she battled depression and had terrible mood swings that landed her in the hospital many times and it took a toll on our family so I would tend to run a lot or escape into my world of dressing just to escape the pain I felt and the overall helplessness I felt. I cried many times for my mom trying to help her and by giving her a hug but knew her condition could not be cured by hugs. She relied on so much medication and sometimes the medication seemed to make her worse. It was just so frustrating and I felt we were relying on doctors who only administered medicine to deal with the problem and they did not see how it affected her.

We went through difficult and emotional times trying to help mom with her illness and we spent many days at the hospital visiting her and letting her know how much we loved her and missed her. Dad worked hard during the day and was exhausted but he was always by mom's side and never missed a day as he truly loved her and we were so fortunate to have such loving and caring parents.

As mom managed through her depression and bi-polar disorder she would come home and we had to help transition her back home and ease her back to her normal routine. When she was well enough to go back to work we would make sure she was up to it and I would escort her to the train station making sure she got there ok and asked her to call me from work if she was having difficulty. We all tried to bond as a family and though we all had our issues and were far from perfect we all were kind and caring and respectful and we truly cared for each other and we had a strong family support system.

I was getting to my final year of highschool and knew I had to make plans for my future and knew college was in my plans and had to look for a program of study that would be suitable to my interests and strengths and was affordable. My mom went back to work so she could help me with my college as dad worked to maintain the house and provide for the family. I was still hoping to meet a girl but had more concerns now with planning a future for myself and choosing on colleges and a career path. It was a wakeup call growing into early adulthood and now having to make major decisions and I tried to seek advice from my parents and by taking it upon myself to go to the library to learn about popular careers. There was no such thing as the internet back then so research was a bit more painstaking and I had to rely on the dewey decimal system to find material for my research which now seems so antiquated.

So I tried to enjoy my senior year of highschool and continue my running and making friendships because I knew soon enough I would be in college studying hard so I could find a good career and then find a girl who I could share a life with and become a dad so I could have everlasting joy. Now I need to learn more about the girl I am to meet as I know she is out there and I am so excited to write about her as she will be a big part of my life and our story.

Edward D. Iannielli III

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Please feel free to read my writings and leave a kind message or suggestion. Thank you. Emily